Cara Vermaak

A history lesson of a brave little girl, Racheljie de Beer, and her brother has had me in awe of heroes since the age of eight. The brave Racheljie, a young girl not older than twelve and her brother lived on a farm in the remote areas of South Africa.

They were out tending to the chores when it became misty.  They lost their way home. During the night the temperatures dropped way below zero. In an effort to keep her smaller brother from freezing, she took off all her clothes, for her brother to wear. Racheljie then wrapped herself around him, shielding him from the elements and giving her body heat to save him from the severe cold.

They were found the next day, Racheljie had died of hyperthermia but her brother was fine.

Do you ever wonder how heroes are made? This fascinates me, I do not think a hero sits and plans to become a hero. One day the hero faces a situation where there is no time to think about consequences. It is do or die, the thought actually does not feature until after the deed is done.

If you are lucky to survive does shock set in? Does your hero reflect or hear what she has done and for the first time actually think, if I were her, my  first conscious fact would be: “I am totally mad, what was I thinking

The very same thoughts occur with sex; in the beginning of the journey. Perchance, everybody starts off on this road not really planning the event, just stumbling onto it as a matter of course. Not having a clue what to do, just like me. Men especially are the heroes here, no matter how many times they fail; they are persistent in their quest to find the ultimate wonder of sex.

Obviously once you are a seasoned practitioner it all changes. Then it is like anything else in life, routine. That is why the internet thrives. The routine of making love has sent many people to search for more magic.

This is where all the different lifestyles must have originated from, boredom or fascination or pure intrigue. I am not sure which. But whilst lost in research more discoveries are made and the erotic people laugh loudly. All of it seems too far out of my reach. It would be wonderful if the world could slow down to a speed wobble for a few minutes, just to give me time to play catch-up!

In my confused mind, there is a dream of finding the dream man. He will dedicate every thing to me, not merely his amazingly wild orgasms but also his every waking thought.

I am every breath he takes. Every touch is me. He lives to teach me the ways of deep pleasures. I am a fool, no man, woman or alien will allow me near them with such possessive thoughts, and rightly so. I want too much.

Surely, you want your very own being. You must want to belong to some very special person, full body, full mind, total surrender of all the senses for the magical passions of wonderful journeys into each?

You and I deserve such abundant loving. If not. Why not? Is wild passionate sex such an adventure as all the erotically inclined people constantly tell me? Are they shouting it too loudly for it to be true?

Are dreams of long explorations, deep investigations of the one that makes the world seem right, folly? The quieter fuller, ever all love with the one whose truth lives with in every cell in your body. The one who recognises your face, your body by a mere touch as if he were blind when he met you.  This must be the one adventure filled with wonderful secrets of the self.

The beauty of each reflected in the mirror of the moment when all else is nothing...

Dearest Dream...

A Touch of Excellence - © 2007 Cara E. C. Vermaak. All rights reserved.

Once upon a time, a little girl finds the magick of the life beyond life, she stumbles onto a beautiful world of angels and guides. This little girl travels where no plane can take her, sees wonders only the very innocent glimpse. This little girl touches the core of all human nature by love; she knows nothing else in this reality is true with out the love of life.

Long years pass, adulthood comes too fast and yet the little girl, now a young woman finds the realities to remain as magickal as when she was an innocent child. Although the world is darker now, many the people who come her way are cruel and evasive. Yet the beauty of love gives her hope, drives her to be the one to remain aloof from the banalities and wait for the perfect moment which will touch her with the same intensity she possesses.

Dark years of pain and destroyed dreams do not deter her on her quest in finding the one perfect love. Many a day she will stumble and fall, realising the journey and the search for the truth of love is tedious, often she hides in the shadows of her soul, mourning the possibility that the love she deserves does not exist in this reality, that it all may be just an illusion.

She stands in isolation watching the world, she witnesses the destruction, the deceit, and the banalities of greed destroy the people in her life. Her essence laments her fears as she silently cries, offering this pain to the God’s, the very ones who have given her the gift of sight beyond realms. She grieves the very sad proof that she is one of the few, which have seen the beauty of simplicity, the splendour of one pure touch of love.

Days and nights, nights and days roll into years, the years do not bring the purity she craves for, and the years bring more people with many different untruths and deceit. The shattered spirit lies still in the world filled with more hate than is thought possible, with people who mirror only their own pleasures, disregarding the teachings of the past. She withdraws to the seclusion of her dreams; waiting in silence for the love she knows will come to claim what is truly his prize.

As she emerges from the mysterious corner of her solitude, she discovers a few people who have the touch of pure love, people who can testify to the banalities of life and still reach for a stranger with love. Yet in this loving group exits the basis of the few greedy, corrupt and evil people. Innocently she steps on toes, only to incur the wrath of the evil ones. One evening, with ominous intentions, a group of evil ones gather to curse her and the ones she loves.

As a child of beyond, she knows to always protect her loved ones with the strong powerful elements of the Universe, earth, fire, air, water and metal interspersed with the power of love, surrounds every person in her circle, who give meaning to her life. As a healer, her own protection is slight; she cannot heal with the weight of strong protection.

As she heals she draws the illness within her, her body then destroys the illness before it is released into water, where the evil demons of the illness drowns, never to touch another with its harm. This practise leaves her open to the dangerous intentions of the evil ones, who have covertly enquired as to her methods, feigning interest and care.

Her guides and angels did warn her when these people came too close; they tore her away from the evil ones into their protection. Her innocence refused to believe them all to be evil, her love for the world would not allow her to ignore the hand of friendship, of honour and supposedly love. Regardless the urgent messages of warning from her Angel Tarot placed before her daily.

The curse of the evil ones does not touch her loved ones, but reaches the most beautiful part of self. Her secret shared in a moment of trust to the evil ones, they now know her vulnerability. Her most precious gift of being a woman is the target of these evil ones and it destroys the anchor of her life. Stealing her powers of magick as they almost cause her physical death.

At the height of her illness and she waits to go to Summerland, the most beautiful man enters her life. The overwhelming love of him gives her energy to fight for the life she so happily offered to protect the ones she loves. This beautiful creature touches her with such intensity she knows she can fight any evil on all levels.

The battle for life takes her to all corners of the world, searching for a cure in Cuba, India, America, UK, all of South Africa. She finally finds the cure and lives to love. Alas, during the cure, her strengths are diminished and the protection she has placed around her loved ones is destroyed. She is too weak to protect the very gift she lived for and the curse passes to him, the one she loves.

As she emerges healed, her dreamlover is taken ill. Along with him, her dearest brother becomes the new home for the curse. As she fights for the strength to destroy the curse, his health fails. She shares her secret with her brother concerning the curse, her friends have traced the origins and have used all their powers to destroy it but the power of evil was too strong.

Her brother knowing that there is life beyond life, calls on her wiccan friends to intervene, he is almost saved, although the path of the curse leaves the scars that will take him years to recover to the man he was. Her lover refuses to believe there is such evil, instead he appeals to the beauty of the love he lives to guide him. The soft gentle love he lives for and offers to all who touches him.

The path of her dreamlover is too gentle, too kind and he is not that fortunate, to escape the evil. From the very moment she is given another opportunity to life, he lay dying. He has the will to live and fights with all his power and might, for one brief moment he does conquer the demons surrounding him, but the victory is fleeting.

The evil has found a good fight but not a strong one, the curse toils and plays with him. He becomes a toy in the hands of evil, releasing him slightly, into hope, giving him a glimpse of what can be, allowing him to taste the beauty he has been waiting for all of his life. Only to rip him back into the despair of pain, ripping all of him into the gloomy black hole of nothingness.

She grows stronger and almost regains the strength to demolish the evil curse. However, she is too late, he is too late, the battle has taken all of his strength, stolen the need to live to love. The despair finds solace in the soul of her  love, the love  she has lived for since before time was.

Madness Takes its toll, the mind, the soul, the want, the need…I have always loved the same man, through all my lifetimes. I know that we made a pact to love each other in this one too.I started searching for him since I was old enough to remember he is searching for me.

But…

Our journey had many, many detours, I think I finally gave up and decided he had moved on and then, a miracle….

One day when I was not expecting it, he came to me, as perfect as he had been forever. His touch felt familiar, his eyes were known and his love was where it has always been. He is the echo of who I am, he is me, he is my mirror. He is my perfection.

We wanted a lifetime together; instead, we only had a moment in eternity.

My screams became silent as I knew he was losing the struggle, the battle had taken all of his strength, stolen his need to live to be loved. He lay dying, almost welcoming the angel of death, all the fight gone, all the need to live for me, seeping out of his frail body. My silent screams become real as I try to reach him where he lay dreaming of peace and the life afar, hoping beyond hope that my voice will remind him of our perfect love, inspire him to become my second miracle.

As he lay dying, my spirit shatters into powder, my heart becomes hard and heavy and for the first time I know the clarity of despair. Desperate to cling to the love I have lived for since before time was. As he lay dying, gently holding my hand, I vow to love him through the next life-times, to evermore.

Tenderly caressing his hand, my essence begging him to ask the Gods if he could bring a friend, on this, his final journey. As he lay dying, I offer all of myself to any power who will save him, save his love. As he lay dying, my life seeps into the pool of nowhere, my nucleus becomes invisible. As he lay dying, I know there is no one, there is nothing, there is only pain.

Farewell my Angelman, my Love, my Beauty, my Perfection

A Touch of Madness - © 2008 Cara E. C. Vermaak. All rights reserved.